I would rather be called a tease

The only thing going on in my life right now is tests and essays which quite honestly is pretty lame and stressful. I have 2 tests on Thursday along with an essay, not to mention art projects galore that are due. So instead of writing about that I am going to give you a flash back from first semester.

This is the story of how two of my really good guy friends confessed their love for me on the same night and how I learned that I need to stop acting like such a tease.

Setting: Some random yet very good-looking guy’s dorm room. Lots of vodka.

Characters: Me, L (guy friend who I kind of like), K (guy friend who I don’t like) and a couple other guys and girls. Most everyone is pretty drunk some more than others.Oh and the RA was there to…yeah we drank with the RA (bad ass).

scene 1: I am sitting on the futon next to L. His arm is awkwardly around me and we are talking. He is belligerently drunk and I guess that would be my fault. He starts talking to me and then out of no where he confesses his undying love for me. He tells me how he has never felt this way about a girl before and that he thinks I am really special. He also tells me how beautiful I am. (he called me beautiful which really means a lot because there is such a difference when a guy calls you beautiful and when he calls you hot. A hot girl is a one night thing but a beautiful girl is the one who you take home to mommy) Now if that wasn’t enough for him to persuade me to fall for  him he goes on to tell me that he will make a lot of money someday.  He went on and on for about 10 minutes drunkenly confessing his undying love for me. The only problem according to him was that I didn’t want a relationship. Now during his whole confession I was getting very upset with him. Before he told me all of this we had such a good relationship. I considered him one of my best friends and honestly he was right I really didn’t want a relationship. I ended up promising him that I would hook up with him in 2 years and possibly even have a relationship. I was drunk at the time and so was he. He didn’t even remember me telling me that, which is a good thing. We, have moved past his drunkenly confessing his love for me he says that none of that was true and that he was just drunk, but I don’t believe it. When you are black out drunk you tend to say things that you mean.

Scene 2: After L’s confession, his friend told him it was time for him to go back to his room. Good choice. With L gone K thought it would be a good time to swoop in. He put his arm around me and started to tell me how much he liked me, but how he didn’t want a relationship with me he just wanted to hook up. I sat there for ten minutes as he systematically explained all the pros and cons of us hooking up. He thought the pros out weighed the cons. I had to break the news to him that there was no way in hell that I would ever hook up with him. He did not take this well. I guess that’s because I am somewhat of a tease and I may have led him on for the past few weeks. I have never been that girl who gets attention from guys until I got to college. I really like the attention they give me and I just didn’t know how to deal with it. I feel so bad for toying with his emotions the way I did and I am deeply sorry for that. We ended up having a 45 minute heart to heart conversation where I ended up telling him that the only reason I wouldn’t hook up with him was that I didn’t want to become attached and end up with a relationship. For some reason he bought it. I feel horrible for lying to him but what other choice did I have? I don’t really talk to K that much anymore but I do occasionally see him at parties and I miss him being a part of my life, but I know that we being friends with him would be a bad choice because I don’t want to run the risk of leading him on and hurting him.

Conclusion: I need to me more careful with the ways I interact with boys. I enjoy flirting which can be seen as teasing but I would rather be called a tease than a slut. I guess I just love the chase but once I have my prize I really could care less about it. I need to find a guy that i will still like even after the chase is over…I have my work cut out for me.

My first post and hangover

I guess you could say I am your average college freshman. I go to a big state school in the Midwest and that is all I am going to say about my location because I don’t want any stalkers … and if any of my “friends” do read this I would rather them not know that I am the one writing because some of the things I have to say might not reflect upon them favorably.

Ok, now for the juicy stuff. This morning I had my first hangover ever…it sucked. I know that you are probably thinking I am some lame girl who never goes but contrary to your thoughts I make it a point to go out every weekend (thursday-saturday) and yes I do drink a lot too. I just don’t get hangovers. It was horrible when I woke up, my head was pounding. You know its bad when you wake up and look at your phone and don’t remember sending any of your resent text messages. And when one of the texts says “thingsx spinnfdsg iz badd?” which translates to “is it bad things are spinning?” I would like to also point out I obnoxiously texted one of my best guy friends who I secretly have a thing for. Damage control time.

I didn’t start as a shit show last night. I actually wasn’t even planning on drinking that much due to the night before but I mad bad choices and they got worse as the night went on. Lets start for the beginning. I scored an invite to a frat. Not that getting an invite is that hard…if you have boobs you can get in. I had never been to this frat and I really wanted to party there. It is one of the top-tier frats at my school and a little harder to get into. There was some girl drama about some weed before the ride came to pick us up. (yeah we get rides to frats) When we get to the frat its super awkward because unlike most frats they didn’t have one big party room instead you went into the brother’s rooms to drink, dance, hookup etc. In order to make the best of the situation and meet people my friend B decided the best thing to do was to do some shots.

Well, as you can imagine 1 shot led to 2, which led to 3, which led to 4 and so on. I was feeling pretty happy if you know what I mean. Long story short this was my night. Did shots, danced with a guy lets call him H, drunk texted L (the guy I sort of like) and others (bad choice), decided to play bartender and took a shot with everyone I pored a shot for (really bad choice), decided doing shots was lame and just drank from the bottle like it was water (bad choice), made out with H (bad choice), got pizza (bad choice), threw up the pizza (result of bad choices), more drunk texting (bad choice), passed out in my bed with out washing my face (bad choice). All of those bad choices contributed to my hangover.

Before you judge me to harshly I would like to tell you that I am not just some crazy party girl. I do study and try very hard academically but hearing stories about my studying for Spanish is not interesting. So this is my life as a college student. There will be more to come.